It has occured to me that I've been posting lots of comments in this space since the first of the year but have left out a very important part of my motivation. My concern over our egotistical propensity to not get along as intergal parts of God's creation has been with me most of my adult life. I believe if you've read these posts that much should be clear. But why now do I want to get out there and do something about the condition? The answer is in my motivation. A little less than a year and a half ago my Sherita passed on from this life. This left a major void in my life and prompted much sorrow and reflection over "The meaning of it all". Much of the result is reflected in these posts. However the visceral reason for these questions did result from the loss and I feel the desire to address that a little more. Much of the questions we all ponder on occasion are grounded not only on theoretical abstracts of morals, politics, right and wrong, Gods plan for us, and gathering of knowledge. They are founded on the very real question of Why do we Think and Conceptualize about these issues? In my somewhat simple way of seeing these substantial things, that conceptualization ability, or curse, is that part of us which was made in the "image of God". That is what does set us apart from the rest of creation. At any rate a few months after her passing I wrote a letter to myself and the kids about "What Now" and I want to include that here today. Peace! RV
Letter to my Loved Ones ~ What Now My Love?
Sheritas memorial is over. It’s even a new year. Her memory lives on in so many ways. The question rises in my mind as to the future. It’s not A question, but so many. I received an e-mail from a couple of friends referring to the purpose of relationship in our lives. When you’ve been around the old world for a half century or so there have been a few of them. Some good, some not so good. I pray you will all have the joy in your life of sharing love with your best friend, soul mate, spouse. Such a blessing makes all of life’s trials worth the experiencing.
Suppose writing is a very cathartic activity for me now, and in the future. I don’t plan to write a whole lot of novel stuff but I do believe there is an area of philosophy, religion, politics, communication and respect that interests me. I would hope my thoughts can help others to relate to our world in a fulfilling and positive manner. So, where do I go from here. First I would like to reduce the use of I so much. That may be difficult since much of what is said revolves about my perception of events, people, direction. It should be obvious that you learn far more by listening than by talking. However, you don’t really communicate without speaking or writing and communication is very important. Suffice it to be said here that I desire open (or closed) minded discourse from most anyone in an effort toward understanding. It’s all connected. We are all unique in being created in the image of God. Unique as a species and then unique as a series of subtypes. We are blessed in being so unique and yet we are charged with a responsibility to do something with our uniqueness, talents. To be better than we start out in this life. Not hard to improve upon infancy, but to be all you can be? It is sobering to realize just how many of our human brothers are not far from that infancy state most of their lives, and how we all slip back there too often. Sometimes being stuck in an infancy state is not tied to cultural, i.e. nurture, aspects of ones life. Suppose that can only be postulated with the caveat or exception for those who are unfortunately born with an inability to learn, communicate, relate, and respect others. And that disability, of course, then becomes an avenue for those of us to learn from and to love the perennially childlike.
Why am I sitting down and putting these thoughts and questions and experiences on paper? Do I not believe by faith the rest and peace and unconditional Love now experienced by Sherita?? Am I so shaky as to be dubious of my, and our, faith??? As stated in Sherita’s memorial service I have had many questions and doubts during the latter half of 2008. I am in the process of redefining my goals in life and the direction of my faith journey. This is not in anyway to detract from the truth and blessings of my past but maybe my perspective is morphing a bit. I have never quite experienced such a loss as this one in my life. I have lost friends and relatives but this circumstance was uniquely impactful. Not to diminish other losses but many different factors came to bear earlier in life. Maybe what I was “taught” was sufficient at the time. Not to doubt faith but this time I’m seeking “supplementary” answers.
Most of my Christian faith family are at peace with our heritage. It is a good heritage. But how about our loved ones who do not have such a support. The ones who just don’t know. Sometimes in the recent past that person has been me. The fact that we love them requires that we go the extra mile to reason this out.
While faith is a bulwark to support us I do believe that my God is also the God of logic and science. If one doesn’t need to solely rely on “Faith”, or “Science”, or “Logic” then I believe that there are links between the disciplines. During my investigations these past months I came up with several interesting points, specifically tied to the afterlife. In the past 40 years or so medical science has progressed to ,on occasion, bringing people back from clinical death. Several studies have undertaken to compile stories of “near death experiences”. The best one that I found was written by a Russian Orthodox priest, Father Alexander. His study referred to several others including a pediatrician in Seattle, Dr Melvin Morris; a medical doctor on the east coast, Dr Raymond Moody; and a Psychiatrist, Dr Kenneth Ring. One interesting thing here is that even as these researchers try to be objective it is difficult since not only do they themselves have subjective backgrounds which may influence their evaluations, but so also do their subjects. Hence even though Fr Alexander does a good job presenting the data, oft times from opposing viewpoints, he just has to evaluate portions based on his theological position, as do some evangelical preachers. It turns out that some of the doctors also report as fairly as possible but do so from a non faith perspective. It is my contention that one can sort through and find a solid thread of evidence from which ones own faith system takes over. It is just important and only fair to recognize where some differences will come about. For instance, the vast number of NDE subjects experience a new spiritual body and are met by a person of light. The description of their body can vary substantially as does the description of the person of light. The being of light is described all the way from Jesus Christ to one of His angels or even the Devil himself. The importance is that there is the manifestation and the subsequent evaluation of that manifestation as to good or bad is almost irrelevant. Irrelevant only in the sense that it is a subjective experience. My contention is that the good or evil of the “being” or the subjects “spiritual body” can be evaluated by the fruits or the results of the experience. For the most part the researchers have done a good fair job of so reporting. The vast majority of positive encounters have resulted in a positive transformation of the patient beyond the near death experience. They led a more positive, “good” life in the future. If the experiences were the “work of the devil”, why would they result in a better life?
The actual experience of the subject may or may not be 100% accurate due to the subjective nature of the event. However, does the event prove life after death? No, because it is transitory by definition, they don’t stay dead. And even thought there are consistent similarities in the various experiences it doesn’t preclude the possibility that these are all the manifestations of a troubled and distressed brain. The studies of Dr Moody seem to demonstrate pretty clearly that most of these experiences do not appear to be of a supernatural(demonic), pharmacological(drug induced), oxygen deprivation resultant, neurological defect, or a psychological(sensory deprivation resultant) nature. The events seem to be actual but of what can we derive from them in the form of “proof” or corroboration? Visions are one thing but there seems to be some verifiable evidence of conscious knowledge related back to the doctors or researchers. In the limited study so far I have read of (1) The corroborative data presented by the blind undergoing a NDE. And (2) Data related from remote locations to the investigators. It is my belief that the findings in these two areas show evidence of objective facts which seem to be separate from the “possible” subjective delusion of a mind on the scene of the trauma. The work compiled give several examples of descriptions I would consider “evidentiary”.
Dr Rings work with blind patients was really interesting since the description of equipment (invented after the patient became blind) and even the colors and descriptions of clothing, items in the room were right on. And upon resuscitation the patients were once again blind. In other cases travel and verifiable observations from beyond the scene were reported. One person described meeting a relative in an other part of the hospital(who had just died) which the attending doctor verified after the resuscitation. Another patient upon returning described an article(shoe) sitting on the ledge outside the hospital on a different floor.
These elements may seem superfluous or silly as evidence. I suggest you look further into these authors for yourself, realizing that we all have a subjective agenda. However most of the researchers have tried to be honest and fair in reporting the facts. Beyond the limited facts in our possession we then are left to supplement them with our individual faith core. Or maybe the order of supplementation should be reversed. The following sentence, from Moody’s “Life after Life”, demonstrates the continuity of this belief since the dawn of human society.
“ By whatever name it is called the notion that one passes into another realm of existence upon physical death is among the most venerable of human beliefs”.
And from Fr. Alexander’s writing: ”The main value in the contemporary exploration of the life after death question is that it confirms in an unbiased and scientific way the truth of the soul's existence in the world beyond. In addition, they can help a believer to better understand and prepare for that which he will encounter immediately after his death.”
In the final analysis as I see it there is a correlation between logic, science, history and faith. I know there is a dimensional difference between the afterlife and this one. Sometimes this is referred to as the ineffability of describing a Near Death Experience, or an inability to put the experience into mere human words. I believe the preponderant testimonies of NDE patients bear out the evidence of this event.
If…… there is an afterlife then there is absolutely no one who would be in His presence any more than Sherita. I call her “my pearl” but a more appropriate description(in my mere human dimension) would be “my angel”. And she was, and probably is, an angel to many others as well.
Another reference shared with me during this time of adjustment was a short book written by C.S.Lewis called “A Grief Observed”. Essentially this one had nothing to do with near death experiences but was a journal written by him after he also lost his wife to cancer. Also a lot of questions as to the purposes of God. This was very supportive to me since this author has written so much from such a scholarly perspective in the Christian world, and even he had doubts and questions. I will share two excerpts from his journal which were especially meaningful. One deals with the arrogance it would be to even ask for the love of my life to be restored to this mortal world we dimensionally share with other humans. The other suggests a logical reason for her moving on to a new dimension.
“Grief is like a bomber circling round and dropping its bombs each time the circle brings it overhead; physical pain is like a steady barrage on a trench in World War One, hours of it with no let-up for a moment. Thought is never static; pain often is.
What sort of lover am I to think so much about my affliction and so much less about hers? Even the insane call, ’Come back’, is all for my own sake. I never even raised the question whether such a return, if it were possible, would be good for her. I want her back as a ingredient in the restoration of my past. Could I have wished her anything worse? Having got once through death, to come back and then, at some later date, have all her dying to do over again? They call Stephen the first martyr. Hadn’t Lazarus the rawer deal?” …. And then…
“’It was too perfect to last,’ so I am tempted to say of our marriage. But it can be meant in two ways. I may be grimly pessimistic---as if God no sooner saw two of His creatures happy than he stopped it (‘None of that here!’). As if He were like the hostess at the sherry-party who separates two guests the moment they show signs of having got into a real conversation. But it could also mean ‘This had reached its proper perfection. This had become what it had in it to be. Therefore of course it would not be prolonged.’As if God said,’Good; you have mastered that exercise. I am very pleased with it. And now you are ready to go on to the next.’ When you have learned to do quadratics and enjoy doing them you will not be set them much longer. The teacher moves you on.” (It may be obvious that Lewis is a very British writer; I would have used a “port-party” instead of sherry).
She is removed from this dimension ,and moved on to the next. I am blessed to have known, and loved her. I love her with all my heart, and always will. That is a beauty of Love; it is inexhaustible. Just like our love for our children and Gods love for us. I will continue to learn and love in this realm until the Lord sees fit to pass me on to the next exercise. Amy Grant sang a song a few years ago titled “We’re Just Here to Learn to Love Him”. I don’t believe Sherita ever sang the song but she certainly learned the lesson. Thank you for reading this. Go in Peace and Love to Serve the Lord, and His Creation. Love you guys! Bob
Source materials and suggested reading:
A Grief Observed ~ C.S. Lewis
http://www.fatheralexander.org/booklets/english/life_after_death.htm
Life after Life ~ Raymond A. Moody, MD
Closer to the Light ~ Melvin Morse, MD
Life at Death ~ Kenneth Ring, PhD
The Secret Message of Jesus ~ Brian D. McLaren (not part of this letter, just a great resource)
Letter to my Loved Ones ~ What Now My Love?
Sheritas memorial is over. It’s even a new year. Her memory lives on in so many ways. The question rises in my mind as to the future. It’s not A question, but so many. I received an e-mail from a couple of friends referring to the purpose of relationship in our lives. When you’ve been around the old world for a half century or so there have been a few of them. Some good, some not so good. I pray you will all have the joy in your life of sharing love with your best friend, soul mate, spouse. Such a blessing makes all of life’s trials worth the experiencing.
Suppose writing is a very cathartic activity for me now, and in the future. I don’t plan to write a whole lot of novel stuff but I do believe there is an area of philosophy, religion, politics, communication and respect that interests me. I would hope my thoughts can help others to relate to our world in a fulfilling and positive manner. So, where do I go from here. First I would like to reduce the use of I so much. That may be difficult since much of what is said revolves about my perception of events, people, direction. It should be obvious that you learn far more by listening than by talking. However, you don’t really communicate without speaking or writing and communication is very important. Suffice it to be said here that I desire open (or closed) minded discourse from most anyone in an effort toward understanding. It’s all connected. We are all unique in being created in the image of God. Unique as a species and then unique as a series of subtypes. We are blessed in being so unique and yet we are charged with a responsibility to do something with our uniqueness, talents. To be better than we start out in this life. Not hard to improve upon infancy, but to be all you can be? It is sobering to realize just how many of our human brothers are not far from that infancy state most of their lives, and how we all slip back there too often. Sometimes being stuck in an infancy state is not tied to cultural, i.e. nurture, aspects of ones life. Suppose that can only be postulated with the caveat or exception for those who are unfortunately born with an inability to learn, communicate, relate, and respect others. And that disability, of course, then becomes an avenue for those of us to learn from and to love the perennially childlike.
Why am I sitting down and putting these thoughts and questions and experiences on paper? Do I not believe by faith the rest and peace and unconditional Love now experienced by Sherita?? Am I so shaky as to be dubious of my, and our, faith??? As stated in Sherita’s memorial service I have had many questions and doubts during the latter half of 2008. I am in the process of redefining my goals in life and the direction of my faith journey. This is not in anyway to detract from the truth and blessings of my past but maybe my perspective is morphing a bit. I have never quite experienced such a loss as this one in my life. I have lost friends and relatives but this circumstance was uniquely impactful. Not to diminish other losses but many different factors came to bear earlier in life. Maybe what I was “taught” was sufficient at the time. Not to doubt faith but this time I’m seeking “supplementary” answers.
Most of my Christian faith family are at peace with our heritage. It is a good heritage. But how about our loved ones who do not have such a support. The ones who just don’t know. Sometimes in the recent past that person has been me. The fact that we love them requires that we go the extra mile to reason this out.
While faith is a bulwark to support us I do believe that my God is also the God of logic and science. If one doesn’t need to solely rely on “Faith”, or “Science”, or “Logic” then I believe that there are links between the disciplines. During my investigations these past months I came up with several interesting points, specifically tied to the afterlife. In the past 40 years or so medical science has progressed to ,on occasion, bringing people back from clinical death. Several studies have undertaken to compile stories of “near death experiences”. The best one that I found was written by a Russian Orthodox priest, Father Alexander. His study referred to several others including a pediatrician in Seattle, Dr Melvin Morris; a medical doctor on the east coast, Dr Raymond Moody; and a Psychiatrist, Dr Kenneth Ring. One interesting thing here is that even as these researchers try to be objective it is difficult since not only do they themselves have subjective backgrounds which may influence their evaluations, but so also do their subjects. Hence even though Fr Alexander does a good job presenting the data, oft times from opposing viewpoints, he just has to evaluate portions based on his theological position, as do some evangelical preachers. It turns out that some of the doctors also report as fairly as possible but do so from a non faith perspective. It is my contention that one can sort through and find a solid thread of evidence from which ones own faith system takes over. It is just important and only fair to recognize where some differences will come about. For instance, the vast number of NDE subjects experience a new spiritual body and are met by a person of light. The description of their body can vary substantially as does the description of the person of light. The being of light is described all the way from Jesus Christ to one of His angels or even the Devil himself. The importance is that there is the manifestation and the subsequent evaluation of that manifestation as to good or bad is almost irrelevant. Irrelevant only in the sense that it is a subjective experience. My contention is that the good or evil of the “being” or the subjects “spiritual body” can be evaluated by the fruits or the results of the experience. For the most part the researchers have done a good fair job of so reporting. The vast majority of positive encounters have resulted in a positive transformation of the patient beyond the near death experience. They led a more positive, “good” life in the future. If the experiences were the “work of the devil”, why would they result in a better life?
The actual experience of the subject may or may not be 100% accurate due to the subjective nature of the event. However, does the event prove life after death? No, because it is transitory by definition, they don’t stay dead. And even thought there are consistent similarities in the various experiences it doesn’t preclude the possibility that these are all the manifestations of a troubled and distressed brain. The studies of Dr Moody seem to demonstrate pretty clearly that most of these experiences do not appear to be of a supernatural(demonic), pharmacological(drug induced), oxygen deprivation resultant, neurological defect, or a psychological(sensory deprivation resultant) nature. The events seem to be actual but of what can we derive from them in the form of “proof” or corroboration? Visions are one thing but there seems to be some verifiable evidence of conscious knowledge related back to the doctors or researchers. In the limited study so far I have read of (1) The corroborative data presented by the blind undergoing a NDE. And (2) Data related from remote locations to the investigators. It is my belief that the findings in these two areas show evidence of objective facts which seem to be separate from the “possible” subjective delusion of a mind on the scene of the trauma. The work compiled give several examples of descriptions I would consider “evidentiary”.
Dr Rings work with blind patients was really interesting since the description of equipment (invented after the patient became blind) and even the colors and descriptions of clothing, items in the room were right on. And upon resuscitation the patients were once again blind. In other cases travel and verifiable observations from beyond the scene were reported. One person described meeting a relative in an other part of the hospital(who had just died) which the attending doctor verified after the resuscitation. Another patient upon returning described an article(shoe) sitting on the ledge outside the hospital on a different floor.
These elements may seem superfluous or silly as evidence. I suggest you look further into these authors for yourself, realizing that we all have a subjective agenda. However most of the researchers have tried to be honest and fair in reporting the facts. Beyond the limited facts in our possession we then are left to supplement them with our individual faith core. Or maybe the order of supplementation should be reversed. The following sentence, from Moody’s “Life after Life”, demonstrates the continuity of this belief since the dawn of human society.
“ By whatever name it is called the notion that one passes into another realm of existence upon physical death is among the most venerable of human beliefs”.
And from Fr. Alexander’s writing: ”The main value in the contemporary exploration of the life after death question is that it confirms in an unbiased and scientific way the truth of the soul's existence in the world beyond. In addition, they can help a believer to better understand and prepare for that which he will encounter immediately after his death.”
In the final analysis as I see it there is a correlation between logic, science, history and faith. I know there is a dimensional difference between the afterlife and this one. Sometimes this is referred to as the ineffability of describing a Near Death Experience, or an inability to put the experience into mere human words. I believe the preponderant testimonies of NDE patients bear out the evidence of this event.
If…… there is an afterlife then there is absolutely no one who would be in His presence any more than Sherita. I call her “my pearl” but a more appropriate description(in my mere human dimension) would be “my angel”. And she was, and probably is, an angel to many others as well.
Another reference shared with me during this time of adjustment was a short book written by C.S.Lewis called “A Grief Observed”. Essentially this one had nothing to do with near death experiences but was a journal written by him after he also lost his wife to cancer. Also a lot of questions as to the purposes of God. This was very supportive to me since this author has written so much from such a scholarly perspective in the Christian world, and even he had doubts and questions. I will share two excerpts from his journal which were especially meaningful. One deals with the arrogance it would be to even ask for the love of my life to be restored to this mortal world we dimensionally share with other humans. The other suggests a logical reason for her moving on to a new dimension.
“Grief is like a bomber circling round and dropping its bombs each time the circle brings it overhead; physical pain is like a steady barrage on a trench in World War One, hours of it with no let-up for a moment. Thought is never static; pain often is.
What sort of lover am I to think so much about my affliction and so much less about hers? Even the insane call, ’Come back’, is all for my own sake. I never even raised the question whether such a return, if it were possible, would be good for her. I want her back as a ingredient in the restoration of my past. Could I have wished her anything worse? Having got once through death, to come back and then, at some later date, have all her dying to do over again? They call Stephen the first martyr. Hadn’t Lazarus the rawer deal?” …. And then…
“’It was too perfect to last,’ so I am tempted to say of our marriage. But it can be meant in two ways. I may be grimly pessimistic---as if God no sooner saw two of His creatures happy than he stopped it (‘None of that here!’). As if He were like the hostess at the sherry-party who separates two guests the moment they show signs of having got into a real conversation. But it could also mean ‘This had reached its proper perfection. This had become what it had in it to be. Therefore of course it would not be prolonged.’As if God said,’Good; you have mastered that exercise. I am very pleased with it. And now you are ready to go on to the next.’ When you have learned to do quadratics and enjoy doing them you will not be set them much longer. The teacher moves you on.” (It may be obvious that Lewis is a very British writer; I would have used a “port-party” instead of sherry).
She is removed from this dimension ,and moved on to the next. I am blessed to have known, and loved her. I love her with all my heart, and always will. That is a beauty of Love; it is inexhaustible. Just like our love for our children and Gods love for us. I will continue to learn and love in this realm until the Lord sees fit to pass me on to the next exercise. Amy Grant sang a song a few years ago titled “We’re Just Here to Learn to Love Him”. I don’t believe Sherita ever sang the song but she certainly learned the lesson. Thank you for reading this. Go in Peace and Love to Serve the Lord, and His Creation. Love you guys! Bob
Source materials and suggested reading:
A Grief Observed ~ C.S. Lewis
http://www.fatheralexander.org/booklets/english/life_after_death.htm
Life after Life ~ Raymond A. Moody, MD
Closer to the Light ~ Melvin Morse, MD
Life at Death ~ Kenneth Ring, PhD
The Secret Message of Jesus ~ Brian D. McLaren (not part of this letter, just a great resource)
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/34953759/ this is a link refered to later on 3/18/10
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